When it comes to matters of the heart, there is a core relationship that proceeds all others. The relationship between Fear and Love. The fateful crossfire we eventually come to before entering a union with another, or when we give birth to someone or something that, in it’s essence, becomes a part of our heart.
Our love is deeply entangled in our fears. Like barbed wire, fear guards the parameter of one of our most tender parts, the loving heart. The part that carries all the grief and joy from our existence.
And why wouldn’t we have barbed wire around that? Something so tender and loaded with an overwhelm of information can seem like a liability. When highly reactive to the feeling of discomfort or pain, it often is. Love is tender and sensitive in it’s nature, it breeds compassion and connection. It bonds you with your surroundings. Fear’s ultimate goal is to protect, usually an abrupt or cold arm’s length distance to all that approaches it. A feeling of separateness, an attempt at self preservation.
I propose a dialectic approach to matters of the Heart. Rather than choosing Love over Fear, embrace the presence and purpose of both. One cannot exist without the other. It’s for our own good! There is a cohabitation between them, differing in purpose but under the same roof, to accomplish the same thing, ‘care for the heart.’ We will always have fear when love is present. But that’s just part of the deal. Love is enmeshed in Fear, and choosing to be lead by your heart means that you will be dancing and wavering between these two forces always. If you find that you are not ready to embrace the Fear of loss and hurt, then perhaps you are not ready to know Love? In fact, Fear will often be your entry point into Love. So hear both out, they both deserve your attention and contemplation. Be kind and practice patience with yourself. Let the forces enact their dance within you. Watch, with great appreciation, for this dance is the makings of a fierce Heart; Love standing strong with Fear to bare witness.
Photo by Tanya Alexis