Writings can reveal sweet synchronicities. They can turn out to be the beginnings of a film or a letter of apology. They can also unearth patterns of thinking that inhibit our expression of our vision. We can find our dreams there, right next to our doubts. The insides of our minds taken out for a stroll or heaved out for a good summer wash.
I believe in the practice of journaling. I believe in committing to these acts of writing as an adult not just as an angsty teen because it’s led to clarity of vision, to dreaming, designing, and doing the biggest collaboration I ever have dared.
I was feeling fragmented and at odds with myself. I’m an actor and a yoga teacher. I had this obsession with keeping the two worlds separate. This resulted in feeling like a liar and a fake. “Oh I’m really an actor” ( when I was teaching yoga) “Oh I’m just a yoga teacher” ( when I was acting). There was a blaring lack of balance, belief and harmony until a seemingly simple writing exercise shifted everything.
As part of the Elena’s teacher training we were asked to write “a purge”.
Essentially you write out all the negative speeches in your brain just letting your judges, fears, doubts, anger, jealousy, sneaky shadows, anxiety and all your ugliness out in a stream of consciousness. Express it all on the page. Don’t hold back.
THEN you write “a talkback” to that purge, line by line from your heart.
What would your highest, most compassionate, brave and brilliant self write back to those voices? Then you actually WRITE IT, line by line.
Out of that dialogue, I realized, we need to combine the shadow and the light. This may seem obvious now but at the time I was like what?! I need to own and say yes to the feelings of fear and inadequacy if I am ever going to be able to tell the truth to my students or to an audience? I have to confront my fears and then share them? Basically, yes.
So that began the dream of combining a love of storytelling with a passion for the practice of yoga.
This led to the designing of that dream with someone I love and trust which then led to the doing of the dream with a team of talented, generous people. This is all taking form as a new series called OM CITY on omcityseries.com.