Moving slowly on our day off of this 200 hour YTT. I woke to Freddie’s request for early morning milk. We snuggled and gazed and giggled. He kicked his little feet and patted my chest with his hand and smiled while managing to keep his suction. Once satiated, he effortlessly drifted back to sleep along with my husband.
I moved myself over to the couch to allow for long slow even breaths to overtake me, eventually sliding into a quiet internal hum. No timer. No where to go. Seated. Lingering inside undisturbed.
After some time I could feel the temperature of the room shift ever so slightly. My eyes called open to see this gorgeous light filtering into my temporary living room.
Contemplations guide me to the fire inside. There is a fierceness burning inside of me for awakening. For freedom. For learning. A fierceness fighting for my Soul not to be overcome by labels & roles, rather to remain on path and living on purpose. Motherhood has changed me. My mission has transformed. There is more softness, less force. More listening, less ego. More questions, less knowing. More love.
Rebirth. New form. I don’t have the same surety of who I am, which is allowing me to witness who I am becoming. Emerging from a place deep inside. It’s all new. Fragile and steady at the same time. Walls coming down, grip releasing, cleaner access to intuition. Now my medicine is T R U S T.
This life. This place. This calling. One cannot guide another to the fire without going there themselves.
Please release me from the imprints of my past. Next time we meet, let me show you who I am.