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How Do We Let Go of Fear?

by Jordan Ruwe / connect

I’m feeling flighty, aggravated, and not good enough. I want to teach more. I want to write more. I want to eat better, look better, be better. I want the world to appreciate me and think I’m special, unique, and most certainly one of a kind. I want to be remembered long after I die. I want my memory to never die. And I know why. I want to live forever. Because I’m terrified of death. I’m terrified that my existence will be forgotten and that I will have had no lasting impact on the world. I’m terrified I’ll be a nobody, and that there’s no afterlife, no heaven, no eternity other than non-existence.

This has been my number one fear for as long as I can remember. It’s left me grasping at certain careers, such as writing and history, and desiring to unearth some wholly new idea, concept, and lay claim to it, my name to it, much like that of a reckless explorer.

When I was at my most desperate self, into my life walked someone with unshakeable faith. It helped, and It’s still helping, but I haven’t healed.

How do we let go of fear?

Maybe fear isn’t something we grasp; maybe it’s something that kidnaps us and holds us hostage. Maybe fear is something that takes years, perhaps a lifetime, to outsmart and escape.

But I recognize my fear as fear, not reality, and that must be progress.

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Jordan Ruwe

About the Author

I began my yoga journey in graduate school while researching abroad, as a way of coping with extreme anxiety. Overloaded with the pressures and solitude of academic life, the physical practice of yoga (asana) was the only way for me to get outside of my head. Yoga helped me still my mind and trust in myself, something I had previously never been able to do. After experiencing yoga’s transformative effects on my own life, I knew I needed to leave my books and research, and teach yoga to others.

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RECENT POSTS

  • Understanding Trauma in the Studio: Disrupted Sleep
  • How I’m Dealing with Sleep During Perimenopause
  • Sleep While You’re Alive: Cultivating Good Sleep Hygiene
  • What to Remember When your Teacher Isn’t Instructing You
  • Understanding Trauma in the Studio: Avoidance and Isolation

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