I always knew I’d give birth for a second time. It was just something my husband and I knew we wanted. When my oldest child was two, I decided to jump in head first and sign up for my 200 hour teacher training. It would be ten months long, and I had hoped I would conceive somewhere along the way. My first pregnancy was easy and I felt great. Certainly the second time would be no different.
Five months into my training, and I’m having a hard time focusing on my practice teaching. I know something isn’t right with my body but there’s still no sign to indicate a yes or a no. Finally, an answer comes, and my teacher training becomes an exploration of my future as a yoga teacher and a mom of two. I wonder: Will my classmates figure it out? I eventually share, and there is joy. We are a tight group of students and the energy is supportive and caring.
The aches and pains begin, and I am surprised by how challenging this pregnancy feels compared to my first. My pelvis is weak which leads to lower back issues, and my right wrist is inflamed at the slightest pressure. Table top becomes a challenge, and forward folds become my sanctuary from the lower back pain. The discomfort I’m experiencing makes me feel inadequate and afraid that my classmates will become better teachers than me because they can physically do more. Then, my mind shifts towards gratitude, as I realize that my physical limitations in the asana are giving me the opportunity to perfect my verbal descriptions of the poses. These words sustain the practice when my body physically can’t, and give me the confidence to get off my mat at the front of the room and be closer to my students as they practice throughout the space.
My son is now seven months old, and my wrist and lower back still flare up if I overdo it. Completing my teacher training while pregnant was challenging at times, but I am grateful for the skills I learned because of those challenges. By setting my ego aside, I discovered my own identity as a new teacher.
Headshot photo credit: James MacDonald. Article photo credit: Manuel Alejandro Leon via Pixabay.