London, April 2015.
I was fortunate to attend Elena Brower’s 3 day Art of Attention Teacher Enhancement Module. One of the numerous teachings Elena shared was the Handel Method of Dream Crafting. Creatively crafting how we wish our reality to be – in this present moment – with no garbage from the past. Just simple, uncomplicated do-able truth. Dreams that we can make real in our lives. Yoga off the mat, living your life with authentic purpose.
Elena talked about rewiring our neurology – undoing all the stuff from childhood that doesn’t serve our purpose anymore. She spoke about evolving our femininity, and this struck a chord.
We talked about designing our relationship with family, particularly our parents, and I realized I still feel ‘stuck’ in unresolved emotions from the past. In answering a couple of the individual questions, Elena suggested talking to our parents as though they are our students, with so much kindness and care – or like we’d talk to our best friends’ parents, with that sort of love and respect. I began to see that gradually, we can heal our relationships and change our perceptions, to build a complete, whole relationships with family.
So my parents came to stay this weekend. They hadn’t stayed with us in over 10 years. I’d always gone to visit them, and would always drive home after a short while – before I started to feel the anger and frustration swell up inside me. But this weekend has been a turning point.
This weekend I saw my parents through eyes of love and gratitude, of respect and care. I saw them as precious human beings whom I cherish and adore, in their very own skins, being wholeheartedly themselves, as they’ve always been – each previous time we’ve spent time together. I didn’t need to disconnect with my parents as I experienced a warmth and wholeness in my being that I haven’t felt with them before.
I didn’t feel anguish, or disappointment, or take myself off to cry or calm myself down. I didn’t feel unheard or invisible.
I didn’t put myself at the forefront of our time together; I had no expectations of how I needed to act in order to get through the next few hours. And our time together was totally enjoyable. We talked throughout the evening, about my parents and my grandparents. Where they met, where they lived, what they did in the war… Stories were shared that I hadn’t heard before. And to see my Dad’s face light up at re-telling these stories about his parents was a joy.
I had no needs, and I loved cherishing them.
This strength within these shifts are genuine feelings of love and gratitude. And this shift occurred with very little effort on my part, other than to know what I wanted and do my part to live into that. My brief experience of Dream Crafting, and specifically raising my consciousness in how I wanted my relationship with my parents to be, enabled me to soften and listen – to myself and to my parents, in their wholeness and truth.