Human love relationships have forever been characterized by the dualities this material world is subject to; joy one day, suffering the next; trust then betrayal; selflessness then selfishness; happiness then sadness; passion then burn out. This is why so many people experience similar patterns of disappointment in one relationship after another. If we can see our part in the perpetuation of this cycle, we can be accountable for changing our behavior, owning our experience rather than blaming it on someone else. Then if we are wronged or hurt, we will give voice to our feelings of anger with calm understanding.
The best way out of feeling resentful and unloved, is to give more love, but in order to do this we have to know love within, and this begins with self-compassion. How do we treat ourselves? Are we internally kind and understanding or are we constantly self-critical? We have to break down the walls around our hearts in order to make space for love to breathe.
As we focus on our inner essence rather than our outer struggles and shortcomings, we begin to let go of blame and irritation. We release judgment and replace it with understanding. We trade selfishness in for empathy. We open our hearts in compassion and extend love to all beings, remembering that we are one beloved family.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Repeat these blessings silently with loving kindness and compassion in your heart.
May I be free of all obstacles to love in my heart.
May I be held in love’s peaceful embrace.
May I experience ease in my body, mind, and soul.
May I feel myself as love.
Next visualize someone you love and send her the same blessings. Continue through people in your larger family, community, country, and eventually extend the blessings to all beings throughout the world.
Excerpt from Breathing Love: Meditation in Action by Jennie Lee © 2018. Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd.