I am here. I am here in a new neighborhood. I am here in a new apartment. I am here without you.
Ending a relationship in my mid-late 20’s is hard. We found love – but what happens when two hearts no longer align? What happens when you grow apart? And there’s the pressure of age. And sticking with someone because we could potentially have a family together. Does that matter? What matters?
I matter. Me. The single person that I’ve neglected while trying to become the best version of myself to make you happy. I matter.
What do I like to do? What do I like to eat? Where do I want to spend my time? And how? I am constantly asking myself these questions on a daily basis because honestly I have nothing else to ask myself. I no longer am making decisions on behalf of anyone else. The result?
I am healthier than I have ever been before. I eat more vegetables. Juices. Coconut water. All these things that seemed so abnormal with you. I have enough mental space to listen to what my body is actually craving. And then being able to satisfy those cravings.
I am more vulnerable with my friends and family. I have opened up my heart to those whom for the past 5 years haven’t been able to get close to me because someone else was taking up my energy, time and love.
I am kind to myself. And I am talking about the kind of forgiveness I have been longing for for years. Forgiving myself for the past. And being okay with myself if all I want to do one night is watch a beautiful rom-com or maybe just read a book. I am finding myself. And I’m becoming the person I’ve always wanted to be.
I am here. I am here in a new neighborhood. I am here in a new apartment. I am here without you. And that’s okay. Because I am here with myself. My imperfect self. A self that has been longing to be loved by myself for a very long time. This is where the healing starts and ends. Here.
Photo Credit: Doni Goodman