God sees the Truth, But Waits

The moments of sadness are interesting. What allows it to come on? Where does the mind go in those moments when the heart opens, the chest contracts and the eyes start to well and I become swallowed by this deep, guttural hole of sadness? The kind of sadness that releases all anger and power. Wanting to be held, wanting to be kissed on the forehead, wanting to veto any wrong doings or actions that caused anyone pain.

This must be grief. This must be the place that we marinate in. Because in this space, there is love. So much love for this other person. And I believe I can feel his love for me.

If we trust this path, this life, this journey. If we trust and know the light that walks beside us, then the darkness will part. The door is wide open, always, and yet we all choose to let go of the hand of the Divine at times and stand alone in the dark. Gripped by fear of the unknown. Of how to release these patterns which have become so routine in every relationship that they give us comfort. The devil we know is more dependable that the liberation that is opening up in front of us.

It is with the stillness, the quiet, the moments of utter and complete release, where we can begin to unhook our grip. Our grip on the thing we wanted it to be. The potential we felt so strongly it could live up to. The love we so desperately were seeking. The validation of self we placed on it.

And maybe, if at first only for a moment, we know.

The pain that rises within us is actually what we are trying to eliminate. And it has now arrived on the surface. It has been buried for a lifetime, and maybe longer. And had you not met this person, and chosen to love them, you could not have cracked open this place within you. The crow bar of emotional depth has finally ‘Shawshanked’ it’s way through the trauma that has kept you shut down.

So, you arrive at a another choice – spend your time in the loop of how and why it all imploded, or, take a deep breath, release the tension in your jaw, close your eyes and say thank you to Spirit, for placing this soul in front of you, to have met you where you were, and then broke you open.

Title c/o Leo Tolstoy
Blog image: Eugene Tan